Hashirama, World's Worst Matchmaker: Tobirama's Trauma, Toka's revenge
by Silverlight10243
Summary: Sequel to Hashirama, World's Worst Matchmaker. After his disastrous matchup regarding Toka and Izuna, Hashirama still isn't satisfied. So when the Uzumaki's requested a marriage alliance between the two villages, he gladly offered his brother up, of course, we all know, Tobirama isn't happy about it and Toka and Izuna are up for revenge. (Microfic & Unfettered Crack)
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hi all! This sequel is up, hope you all enjoy this!**

**And yippee! I've got a beta now, his name is Duesal10 so I'll make much less grammatical mistakes!**

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Hashirama's desk was on fire again, this time, it was because of Izuna.

Unlike his brother's murderous rampage, he was sitting in a rather chill way on the Hokage's comfortable chair.

Oh, and Toka was with him.

To be frank, she had demolished the other remains of her cousin's office, pounding the shelves to dust and smashing Hashirama's 'beloved wooden potteries'.

"What-what did you guys do?" Hashirama gasped at them, bewildered at the ruinous state of his office.

"Mmmmm cousin, where should I begin…" Toka began to contemplate on her choice of words.


	2. Chapter 2

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**Enjoy!**

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Tobirama Senju was in a rather frustrated state; he wasn't particularly fond of Toka's methods of persuasion, especially regarding Hashirama, except he really had no one to turn to.

Heck, he even started to feel sorry for his idiotic brother.

Well not as much as himself, because while his cousin was hogging up the Hokages time and 'negotiating', Tobirama had been forced to take care of a little Uchiha brat who had apparently been constantly bothering Toka and Izuna for the past few weeks by unexpectedly 'wandering-off' to their house.

"Tobi! Look at me, look at me!" Little Kagami was bouncing all over his sofa and playing with a kunai he had stolen from Tobirama's weapon pouch.

The Senju gazed listlessly and annoyed at the buoyant little kid that was now making funny faces at him.


	3. Chapter 3

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Meanwhile Madara had already downed his 10th shot in one of Konoha's recently opened bars, really, he was feeling pretty depressed.

He simply couldn't let go of his little brother.

It was no use trying to talk a divorce out of Hashirama, that Senju was both too idiotic and stubborn to comply, besides he started to doubt whether Izuna would like it.

Honestly those two were beginning to grow more intimate by the day, except they had rather, queer, violent, incongruous methods of conveying their… relationship.


	4. Chapter 4

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"Me? Marry Lady Mito? WHAT?" Hashirama's mouth hung wide open.

"Precisely," Toka nodded. "Come on, you know Tobirama isn't the type—"

"A sour plum like him needs a wife!"

Toka shook her head, "no offense Hashirama, but you are officially the world's worst matchmaker. Take me and that jerk over there for example." She pointed at Izuna who gazed at the two skeptically, his arms folded.

"But- but- but, Tobirama needs a wife!"

"You need one too!" Toka demanded," and what better way can there be? You marrying Mito Uzumaki would strengthen the relationship between the two villages—"

"So would Tobirama!"

"NO!" She slammed her fist on his desk, which poor, poor Hashirama had just managed to regrow after it had been incinerate to ashes for the tenth time.


	5. Chapter 5

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"Your revenge was pathetic," Izuna told his 'wife' as he applied some eye drops.

"I at least tried! You were just sitting in the corner!"

"Because your attempt was pathetic."

"What's with those eye drops?! It's been a while since the transplant!"

"Apparently the previous owner had sensitive eyes. OUCH! What the f*ck you crazy woman, that way too much!" He yelled as Toka tried to empty the entire container onto his eyelids.

"The next time you're going to help me with my revenge! Otherwise, I'll empty all of this into the Naka River, got it?"


	6. Chapter 6

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By the time Toka and Izuna had arrived at their house, Tobirama was in a wretched state, apparently little Kagami had thought it was funny to dye the Senju's hair purple, and as a result he came skulking out of the house with black circles over his eyes drawn by the kid using paint.

"That was not part of our plan!" he complained as he pointed at the ever-so-gleeful little kid," and never, ever, let this little devil go near me, got it?"

"Bye Tobi! It was fun playing with you!" Kagami, who was messing with Toka's kunai supplies, yelled on top of his voice.

"Oi kid," Toka scorned," what did I tell you about naughty little Uchihas who got their eyes plucked out? GO BACK TO YOUR MOTHER!"  
Hence Izuna was forced to call the repairers due to the damage inflicted on his door by Toka's rage and little Kagami earned a whack on his bottom and got sent home crying to his mom.


	7. Chapter 7

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"Right… your cousin… just… tell the ambassadors from Uzshiogakure that Hashirama's going to be the groom when they arrive," Izuna stated matter-of-factly. "Then he'll have no choice. Backing down would mean a deterioration of the relationship between two villages."

"Hashirama's an idiot, he'd probably offer Tobirama up," Toka responded flatly.

They've been discussing this for the past six hours, with little progress—it was past midnight now.

"Forget this, you're too dumb," he shook his head.

"You're the one that's not being co-operative," she yelled.

"I'm going to find my brother. He'll give some good advice on revenge."


	8. Chapter 8

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Toka's eye twitched as she read the sign above her."What's the Yamanaka's institution for the mentally impaired got to do with our revenge?"

Izuna coughed, "Part of the reason our last attempt was a disaster was that you lost control over your… never mind, just follow me."

"No sir, I'm sorry. We do not have a department for anger management," the receptionist responded in a puzzled manner to Izuna's request.

"Can you guys open one? This woman besides is in dire need of it. So far her—"

"Oh . You guys are Toka Senju and Izuna Uchiha , right?"

"Yes…"

"The whole of Konoha has heard of your unfortunate engagement." He shook his head.

"Your point being?" Toka demanded.

"The whole Yamanaka Clan sends their regards and pity."

"Really, we're flattered." Izuna was rather irked. "Anyways that's not why we came. She actually needs anger management lessons."

"What did we say about this?" Toka glowered murderously at him, "I DON'T HAVE ANY ISSUES."

"Before any other attempt at thwarting Hashirama's plans, we really have to get this sorted so you will never lose your temper again—"

Before he could elaborate more on his statement, she threw a punch onto him, Izuna, having predicted something similar dodged just in time, yet the Yamanaka receptionist wasn't so fortunate. As a result by the end of the day Konoha's hospitals had to deal with another one of Toka's casualties.


	9. Chapter 9

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"HASHIRAMA! ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING?!" Tobirama was furious this time. The Shodai Raikage had personally arrived at Konoha for a proper negotiation regarding the inter-relationship between the two nations, except Hashirama was too endorsed in a drinking competition with Madara at the bar.

This was precisely the reason his brother came storming in and disrupted the 'fun'.

"Aww…" Hashirama bowed his head, "but… but…"

"No !"


	10. Chapter 10

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"Another shot…" Madara Uchiha's voice slurred, he was thoroughly drunk this time and feeling utterly wretched.

"Sir, are you sure?" The intimidated bartender timidly met Madara's murderous stare that seemed to say, are you questioning my alcoholic tolerance?

"I said, one more shot!"

"Brother, you've had fifty!" Izuna had spent the entire night trying to find Madara, who was already hopelessly inebriated, "I've been looking for you for ages, and—"

"Huh?" Madara shook his head in a confused state, his vision blurred in front of him.

"Brother, look, I'm so sorry abou—"

"Who the f*ck are you, get the f*ck out of my sight!" He landed an unintentional blow on poor, poor Izuna's face, which gave Izuna a black eye.


	11. Chapter 11

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"Raikage-sama, that's brilliant! I'm sure my brother Tobirama would be more than happy to marry your daughter!" Hashirama beamed and laughed hysterically.

In the meantime, Tobirama shuddered in discomfort and glowered at his brother, his expression said, brother, no, first this Haruko Uchiha, then Mito Uzumaki, then the Raikage's daughter? I can't have three wives.

"Actually," Tobirama started to explain how he currently had 3 woman on his 'to-marry-list', only to be interrupted by Hashirama.

"We'll come back to you the next day," his, ridiculously enthusiastic brother grinned."For the moment, I'll show you to the best inn here in Konoha! You can take your daughter to one our best bars too."

The Shodai Raikage glanced at the Hokage in a puzzled way, as if contemplating how in the name of Kami did an idiot like him ever manage to ascend to the position of a Kage.


	12. Chapter 12

"The Raikage's daughter too?!" Toka now felt deeply sympathetic for her unfortunate cousin as he informed her of Hashirama's plans.

Tobirama buried his face deep in his palms as he wept for his fate—well, not really but close enough.

"Toka, you know perfectly well that I'm not a fan of polygamy…" he muttered under his breath.

"In that case our revenge cannot be delayed!" She thumped her fist on the table declaratorily and eyed Tobirama with a determined look. He shivered; Toka's methods were never very… predictable and conventional, that and she had just shattered a table, AGAIN.

Out of the blue Izuna's voice rang out from the kitchen: "Toka! What the hell?! That table was made out of mahogany wood, stop being so careless!"

"SCREW YOU!" She hurled the closest thing she could find—an ornate flowerpot—into the kitchen.


	13. Chapter 13

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"No," Tobirama reciprocated in an agitated way. "We are NOT going to kidnap Lady Mito and place her blindfolded in Hashirama's chambers. Mark my words, that is NOT going to end well."

He smacked his own face in despair.

Slightly exasperated, Toka tried to reiterate her plans when there came a repeated series of knocks on the door.

"Open up! It's me, it's me!" Kagami's squeaky voice emerged from the other side.

"NO!" She yelled back.

However while Toka was shrieking homicidally, Izuna had already approached the door, evidently unaware of the chaos he is about to cause.

"Izuna! What the f*ck don't open it! Stop NOW!" She then continued to shriek.

Too late, the voice of the child Tobirama had much dreaded to encounter came scurrying in his direction.

"TOBI! Play with me!"


	14. Chapter 14

Mito Uzumaki strenuously resisted the anger rising within her as her father informed of her arranged marriage with Tobirama/Hashirama— it wasn't fully confirmed who would be the groom.

Apparently the ambassadors of her village initially requested a marriage with the Hokage, who in turn offered up his brother, who in turn refused and promised Hashirama as the groom.

You see, Mito wasn't one who liked to have her life decided by someone else, often she believed that, being the clan head's daughter, she would have the right to be wedded to a man of her own preference. Needless to say, this was all negated in the frustrating functioning of clan politics.

Yet she was also ingrained with the austere discipline as befitting a clan head's daughter, she knew she was in no place to protest.

Sighing as she removed her hairpins that secured her long, luscious hair, Mito gazed in the mirror in a bored manner.

Her husband better be a damn fine man.

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**A/N: So Mito makes her first appearance! XD**


	15. Chapter 15

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Madara woke up to find himself immersed in a disastrous hangover and staggered profusely on his way to his bathroom, to aggravate this situation, he was also naked. Naked.

Next to him slept a woman with chocolate brown skin. What's more? She was naked too.

_ Holy shit did I… sleep with her?_ he thought uneasily. No, no, no… this could not have happened!


	16. Chapter 16

"Holy shi—"

Madara's jaw dropped when he realized that there were people, drunk, drowsy, naked people (who all appeared rather foreign) all around his house, to boot every nook and cranny reeked from the stench of alcohol. Confetti was hurled around here and there and his fridge had been completely emptied as some of its contents were spilled across the floor.

Thinking it's probably best if he took a refreshing shower just to clear his head of this conundrum , Madara stepped into his washroom.

"What the f—" His bathtub was currently occupied by another woman , with Hashirama sleeping on top of her. Yet straight after he whacked his 'friend' with a dangling shower facet, Hashirama's body transformed into a wood clone.

_Where on earth is he? _Madara despaired.

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**A/N: A Merry Late, Late, Late Christmas to you all! I hope that you have enjoyed this series so far :) Also I am currently still debating who Mito should end up with, so send me your thoughts in your reviews!**

**Lastly I have been told that nothing makes much sense here, but hey, this is a PARODY- nothing is supposed to! XD It's just ****something I write to cheer myself and my readers up. Don't take everything so seriously here, it's just some lighthearted crack that I hope made you laugh once or twice when you're feeling down.**


	17. Chapter 17

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"Hokage-sama where is my daughter?!" The Raikage demanded.

"He he he… uh… I actually don't know, maybe at the bar? No wait— at a party… Actually, a friend of mine kindly volunteered to host your ambassadors at his house for a party…" Hashirama's voice trailed off.

The Raikage gazed at him sternly, "Do you know how dangerous the place is for her? She's inexperienced and unknowing, what if—"

"I'm so, so sorry!" Hashirama went into his depression mode again and bowed his head in defeat.


	18. Chapter 18

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"Madara! Madara! Open the door, it's me Izuna!" He had been knocking on his brother's door for the entire morning, only to receive no response at all.

While in reality, Madara is STILL trying to shake of the disastrous vestiges of a hangover; also he really needed to get rid of the nude woman in his bed to avoid any misconceptions.

Not to mention the dead drunk, intoxicated people all around his house.

"That's it Madara, I know you're in there, I'm coming through the window!"

His reaction to the woman sleeping in his brother's room was priceless.


	19. Chapter 19

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Mito Uzumaki wasn't exactly eager about her arranged marriage with Tobirama Senju, she scowled as she descended from her carriage, into the streets of Konoha.

Right, her groom was supposed to meet her, along with a few trusty ANBU members, except what greeted her was a woman with her hair fixed into a tall bun who was yelling nonsensically at a raven-haired man.

"Pleased to meet you, my names Toka Senju and you can ignore that idiot beside me," the woman approached her with her hand held out.

Izuna rolled his eyes, "There has been a change in plan, and you're marrying Hashirama Senju, the Hokage."

Mito glared at her escorting ambassadors and looked at those two sceptically.


	20. Chapter 20

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"Hashirama! What the hell were you thinking?! Showing the Raikage's daughter to a bar, then inviting everybody to Madara's house for an 'after-party'?" Tobirama scolded his older brother, yet again. "Do you know the effort it took for the ANBU squad to conceal the secrets of what happened yesterday with the Raikage's daughter and your 'friend' Madara? The situation could have easily deteriorate the relationship between the two nations!"

"I… I… Hey what about just engaging those two—"

"No! This is ridiculous brother, you're whole matchmaking tendencies, they are NOT working!" Tobirama was on the verge of suicide; his brother really was driving him insane. "Oh and don't think I'm not aware about you sleeping with one of the ambassadors of Kumo."

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**A/N: I've started a story of a similar writing style called: Fix it! It's about how each of the deceased Hokage gets offered a chance to relive some of the most crucial moments of his life and how it screws up the entire plot XD Please check it out and leave behind a review!**

**Also, for any of you who are fans of Team Minato, I've started writing a modern day AU called the Catharsis of Change, which in my opinion, exceeds the quality of this fic by miles. Please check it out and offer me some feedback!**


	21. Chapter 21

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"Are you serious?" Mito raised an eyebrow. "Because I clearly got the message that my groom is going to be Tobirama Senju, no one else."

"Positive," Toka lied, her contriving efforts poorly concealed.

Those two so-called 'escorts' in front of Mito really started to tick her nerves, first and foremost: they never ceased their bickering— often over some trifling matter like who is a better cook, who suffered the most from their marriage, who needs 'psychological treatment' or is the grocery store closing at 7 or 8 in the evening.

On top of this, they transpired to be husband and wife, apparently reluctant victims of an 'inter-clan engagement' to ameliorate the relationship of the two most important clans in the village and as a result, taking their supposedly 'clan pride' into account, a barbaric bloodshed broke out between them over the topic of whether their kid would adopt the last name 'Uchiha' or 'Senju'

Preposterous… Mito muttered to herself.

"Hello!" A jolly Hashirama entered the room. "You must be Lady Mito from Uzshiogakure! Your future husband would be coming soon!"

"Future husband… wait, aren't you my future husband?" Mito gazed confusedly at the two.

"What? No-no—" Hashirama defended himself, he appeared just as confounded as her.

"YES," Toka contradicted him.

"No, it's actually—"

SLAM! The Hokage's desk fractured in half.


	22. Chapter 22

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"Izuuuuuna," Madara's voice slurred from the hangover. "What did they do to that woman in my house? I wanted to personally perform an S-rank Katon jutsu on her myself… stupid, nosy person, trying to sleep naked in my bed—"

"Um, brother, actually I think you invited her—"

"No! No! She burst into my hous—"

"Hashirama," Izuna explained flatly. Believing that his irascible 'wife' would achieve little success in enforcing a marriage between Hashirama and Mito, he decided to seek aid from exterior sources, meaning from his brother: Madara.

"Say, what?" Madara had, due to his inebriated conditions, accidentally activated his sharingan, which was spinning wildly, casting off a rather psychotic aura.

"Hashirama," his brother nodded assertively, "it's all because of Hashirama."

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**A/N: Happy New Year Folks! I'll be doing a triple post today! :)**


	23. Chapter 23

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Mito stared at the two Senjus in front of her perplexedly who were currently engaged in a rather bloodied argument that she no longer bothered to follow.

From what she could deduce, Hashirama had initially decided to engage Tobirama with her, who in turn requested Toka's assistance to make Hashirama the groom, who was still completely oblivious of this situation.

Konoha is bonkers, she muttered to herself.


	24. Chapter 24

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"Who IS marrying our Lady Mito?" the ambassadors demanded.

Silence. Complete, and utter silence.

Hashirama gazed expectantly at his brother who just raised an eyebrow at him while his cousin rallied herself for one last attempt at convincing the ambassadors.

"Hashirama, tell your leaders that Lady Mito would be marrying our Hokage," Tobirama stated

"And tell them that the wedding would commence in two weeks. In the meantime, I can give Lady Mito a tour of Konoha," Toka declared.


	25. Chapter 25

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"HASHIRAMA! I AM GOING TO KILL YOU!"

Madara stormed into the Hokage's office and Hashirama gulped. He had barely survived his brother and Toka's bombardments and now he had to deal with the fuming Uchiha.

Everyone, literally everyone seemed to be ganging upon him.

"What have you DONE?! Do you think it's funny to force me to sleep with a woman when I'm drunk?! And what the hell is wrong with you, throwing a party at my house with the Kumo ambassadors? Why is a wood clone of yours sleeping in MY bathtub with a woman?"

"Calm down, no one knows about this. Oh and that… I was originally sleeping with her, then in the morning I had to leave so … I … replaced my body with…" He couldn't muster his voice anymore, sure, he'd probably be able to take on Madara in battle, except that would be counterintuitive to the initial purpose of his matchmaking frenzies: developing and improving inter-clan relationships.

Alas, all he could do is solemnly anticipate the upcoming assaults and insults originating from a beyond infuriated Madara.

"STILL DOESN'T CHANGE ANYTHING! YOU MADE ME LOOSE MY VIRGINITY!" Tremors initiated throughout the entire building as an impact of the man's thunderous, indignant voice.

Suddenly a band of errand-running chuunins who had previously been clustered around the door burst in.

"Hokage-sama, you slept with Madara-san?" one of them imprudently and mistakenly asked.

"No… he… he… it's more like…" Hashirama gulped, wanting to clear this confusion.

Madara glowered at him.


	26. Chapter 26

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"Cheers!" Their glasses clinked together as Toka and Izuna were celebrating their revenge. Surprisingly, none of them seemed uncomfortable in each other's company, either that or the sheer elation of successfully retaliating against Hashirama had allowed them to overlook their usual disagreements or both of them, after an entire day of meticulously conniving their revenge, were too tired to instigate another argument.

This time, the Hokage's office had been entirely incinerated to ashes and a bewildered Hashirama was forcibly suspended from his duties for a week (both international and domestic affairs would placed temporarily be under Tobirama Senju's control). As a result, this left plenty of time for him to take Mito on a tour. It's all safe and sound, right?

"Can't believe that worked! Ha! Getting your psychotic older brother to yell at Hashirama worked better than anything! It totally sealed it! Now all we'll have to do is ensure that their date somewhat went satisfactorily and bingo! Our revenge!" Toka hollered on top of her voice.

"Yeah, you're drunk, you're being overly optimistic. Everything's far from over." Izuna couldn't help but ponder at their chances of failure. After all there was still a chance that Mito Uzumaki herself was displeased at Hashirama.

Toka however, was more concerned about drinking at the moment: "dude, how come you're not drunk? It's been what? More than 20 shots!"

"Oh, I don't drink," Izuna responded matter-of-factly. "It's plain water." He held out his cup.

"WHAT?! WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?!" Toka's face contorted in shock, no one, no one would dare to evade the drinking of alcohol during a celebration with her, hence she immediately filled up an entire cup of red wine and tried to stuff it down her 'husband's' gullet.

Izuna's screams of protest resounded throughout the entire neighbourhood.

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**A/N: My, my... be prepared for the next chapter ^.^**

**Also MrClosedEyes has pointed out that the chapters seem to be getting shorter so I wrote some relatively longer ones to compensate the matter! Hope you all enjoy! Another note: I've placed up a poll on my profile regarding the priority of my stories and which one you would like to see me update most, please vote on it!**

**Question: Who do you enjoy the most in this story? (just curious XD)**


	27. Chapter 27

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Now it would be biased to claim that Uchiha's generally have the lowest alcohol tolerance among the clans of Konoha, but since the incident the day before involving Toka heedlessly stuffing Izuna with red wine, it is doubtless that the man himself had absolutely zero tolerance.

He was drunk within two shots and lost every ounce of consciousness he had ever possessed… Let's just say he started being 'kind-of' nice and 'interested' with Toka.

"Hey woman… wanna sleep with me tonight?" he began garbling. "Nice buttocks you got there." He then pinched them mischievously, relishing in the moment.

Meanwhile, Toka remaining perfectly sober or at least still aware of her surroundings, was utterly horrified—she was way too startled to do anything at present.

"… Come on woman… just this once 'kay?" Izuna accidently slipped on the floor and got up, rubbing his head as he eyed Toka sheepishly.

"Get away from me." Toka shifted uncomfortably. For the first time in her life, she regretted introducing someone to alcohol. _Note to self: NEVER do that again, NEVER drink with the Uchiha's._

The doorbell rang.

"Where's Tobi, I wanna play with him!"

A squeaky little voice she knew only too well.

_Why is Kami-sama so cruel to me?_ Toka lamented miserably.

"Go away, he's not here," she remonstrated poor Kagami flatly.

Of course, disregarding "the scary woman's" words entirely, the kid had resolved to climb through the window.

"Hey kid." A drunken Izuna stumbled all the way across the living room carelessly colliding and knocking over his furniture. "Get out, me and her are about to have sex…"

"Huh?" Kagami gazed innocently at the two; his big bright eyes glimmered with curiosity. "What's sex?"

"Sex is…" Izuna paused and contemplated on his choice of words, he drowsily pulled out a kunai and a shuriken. "Sex is when the tip of the kunai goes through the hole of the shuriken, apply this to shinobis and kunoichis and there you have it."

_Holy shit…_ Toka wanted to dig a whole in the ground and stuff her head through it.

Fortunately, someone else decided to knock on the door, allowing Toka to withdraw from the awkwardness and embarrassing scene surrounding the living room.

"Hi." It was someone she hadn't seen before, judging from her looks, probably from the Uchiha clan as well.

"Er… hi," Toka wanted to draw her attention away from a drunken Izuna and a confused Kagami. "Do you want something?"

"Actually I'm looking for Kagami, his mother asked me to babysit him… Except he ran all the way to your house, claiming that he wants to 'Find Tobi'," she explained to Toka in the most understandable way she could think of.

"He's in the living room."

"Hey Naori! Could you please take the kid away, me and Toka are about to have sex…" Izuna mumbled through his inebriated state.

"Huh?" She blinked repeatedly. It was a well-known fact that Toka Senju and Izuna Uchiha were the unhappiest couple in the village; as a result, it is doubtless, a surprise to Naori, hearing that they were going to 'have sex'. "Pardon me. Did I hear something wrong?"

"Just please, leave. He's drunk. Ignore him." Toka could have sworn she tried to commit suicide as the two of them left.


	28. Chapter 28

**Duesal10**

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Mito stared confoundedly at the man before her, who was currently wolfing down 5 sushi's at a time. That man was Hashirama Senju, goddam Hashirama Senju, the one that was hailed as the God of the Shinobi. He had crumbs dripping all over his attire, his insensitivity simply irked her.

Not to mention his overly cheerful smile, Mito shook her head and gazed back at him, her eyebrows raised in a peeved manner.

"Hashirama," she coughed.

"Yes?" He looked up and beamed an apologetic smile, realizing a hint of disapproval that resided within her tone of voice.

"You've got crumbs all over you."

His expression languished dramatically. _Great, he's also a Drama Queen._

"But…but…"

"Please clean yourself up first," she said, trying to sound as polite as possible. You see, Mito Uzumaki was an absolute neat freak; to boot she also had OCD. Naturally Hashirama's haphazard take on table manners bugged her.

"Ahahahahaha! Ok! Ok! I know I'm not the neatest person around here!" He looked happy again.

_What a bipolar weirdo…_ Mito resisted the urge to facepalm.

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**Question: What was your favorite moment so far in the Hashirama, World's Worst Matchmaker miniseries?**


	29. Chapter 29

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Subsequent to his 'odyssey' to Hashirama's office, Madara was feeling particularly pleased with himself. After all, it's common knowledge that the Uchiha tend to have an obsessive attitude towards vengeance and relished in seeing their opponents suffer.

It felt… wonderful to lash out on his 'friend'— count it as payback for the whole marriage fiasco with Izuna and 'party' incident at his house.

All in all, Madara was on cloud nine, deciding that he'd grab himself a drink, he was slightly annoyed when there was a knock on his door.

It was Izuna.

It was Izuna all tied up with chakra chains, unconscious and with a black eye, from first impressions it seemed as if his little brother had gotten himself entangled in another melee with his dyspeptic wife. A note lay beside poor, poor Izuna that read:

**Your brother got himself drunk, acted all weird and tried to sleep with me. So obviously I tied him up and sent him here. Return him when he's sober.**

** Toka Senju**

"WHAT?" Madara's brief ecstasy had been thoroughly purged by this outrageous note. He wanted to scream at Hashirama all over again.

Needless to say, he stormed straight out of his house and embarked on a search for that insufferable Senju who started this whole mess.


	30. Chapter 30

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It was pretty late in the evening; Hashirama stared awkwardly at the redheaded woman in front of him who wasn't buying any of his jokes.

"Very funny…?" Mito's response trickled off into a state of confusion, she doubted the credibility of his 'stories', especially the last one about a bunch of Hyuuga's using the Byakugan to spy on woman in the Hot Springs.

"Sooo… what are some of your hobbies?" He attempted to break the ice.

"Well, I was raised in a pretty traditional household, so knitting, cooking—"

"THERE YOU ARE!" Madara's murderous voice boomed from the other side of the restaurant.

Hashirama gulped. _Remember, do what you did in the office, passive resistance… Passive resistance Hashirama, also, act friendly._

"Hi there Madara! Want to join us on our date?" He inquired amicably.

"Shut up! It's all your fault!"

Hashirama's head drooped, his mood switching from hyperactive to absolutely miserable. "What did I do this time?"

"My brother is in an abusive relationship! I demand a divorce!"

"Not again… I thought they were getting along well… Ahhh… If only they could see through those petty prejudices…" Hashirama mourned as his eyes became misty.

Meanwhile Mito gazed mystified at the two of them. Being a latecomer into this whole matchmaking debacle, she was naturally unaware of the current situation.

"IT'S NOT FUNNY!"

Mito decided to interject: "May I ask, what exactly happened?"

Hashirama cut Madara first, "Well my friend's little brother here harbored a crush towards my cousin Toka and…"

"Lies."

"I decided that getting them married would resolve our inter-clan relationship and help dissolve generations of feuding…"

"Lies," Madara snorted again.

"So they got married and lived happily ever after…"

"Lies. Hashirama, will you stop speaking utter bullshit?"

"Stop interrupting my magnificent tale of the two star-crossed lovers!"

Mito mentally facepalmed in embarrassment, she really missed Uzushiogakure. The people there were at least remotely sane.

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**A/N: SOOOO Madara crashes their date XD**

**I'd like to shout out a thank you to tinasan25 who volunteered to design a new cover for this miniseries :)**


	31. Chapter 31

**A/N: Yippee a double update today! Enjoy!**

**Beta read by Duesal10**

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Mito rolled her eyes at the two men in front of her. What was ostensibly her first date with her fiancée turned into a shouting showdown between him and an apparently enraged, overprotective older brother, otherwise known as Madara Uchiha.

"Okay, gentlemen, you guys can stop this arguing now. I get it: basically my, future husband has recently developed an unhealthy obsession with matching people who completely detest each other and nobody else is happy with it. Am I correct?"

Hashirama gesticulated his arms in protest while Madara nodded, somewhat satisfied at her summary.

"And you," she directed her finger at Madara, "are afraid that your brother has been forced into an abusive relationship, right?"

Another nod while Hashirama protested fervently, ridiculously claiming about how true love always surpasses clan boundaries and common preconceptions.

"And you, Hashirama, believe that those two are… meant for each other?" She stared at him, her eyebrows raised, not exactly trusting the over-idealistic man's judgment.

"Of course they are! I mean, come on Madara who else would be better for your brother? The house is almost never quiet!" Hashirama boasted cheerfully.

"Their house is never quite because they HATE each other and ARGUE the entire time. For Kami's sake, what's so difficult about making that connection?" Madara's insides were about to erupt in abject, helpless frustration. That man never understood anything!

"How about a gamble, eh? I bet in two months time or less, Toka's going to get pregnant. 20 million ryo, are we on?"

Mito's attempts of interruption were utterly drowned by the two's squabble and she stood there, staring at her fiancée and Madara, shaking her head.


	32. Chapter 32

**Beta read by Duesal10**

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Naturally, having remembered nothing of the previous day, Izuna woke up, utterly confused and clueless of his surroundings. First and foremost, he was in his brother's house, how the hell did he end up here? Secondly, to aggravate matters, he was bound by chakra chains, TOKA's chakra chains. Finally, as well as most disturbingly, was the note that lay beside him:

**Your brother got himself drunk, acted all weird and tried to sleep with me. So obviously I tied him up and sent him here. Return him when he's sober.**

** Toka Senju**

He blinked, rubbed his irritant eyes, stared dumbfounded at that piece of paper and blinked again. A whirlpool of conjectures inundated his already muddled mind. He was Izuna Uchiha, he had his dignity to uphold, how? Just how could he possibly commit an action as sordid as seeking copulation from Toka Senju, out of all people? And drunk? He was Izuna Uchiha, he never drank alcohol. He prided himself for evading its consumption during all gatherings. Heck, not even his brother could convince him to drink. Drinking with Toka? Fat chance.

Yet, in an attempt to categorize his recollections, the last thing he remembered from yesterday's disaster was his 'wife' forcibly downing alcohol down his throat… Slowly, with what little evidence he had in the vicinity: Madara's absence, the note, the chakra chains, Izuna began piecing the pictures together.

_Shit, shit, shit, shit… The date, my brother probably ruined their date!_

Figuring out the basics, Izuna rushed out of the house.

* * *

**Question: Who's your favorite character so far? ;)**


	33. Chapter 33

**Beta read by Duesal10**

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Little Kagami Uchiha was crying. The reason was simple; he wanted to "Find Tobi", which evidently pissed of his current babysitter: Naori Uchiha. Compared to the rest of her clan, it could certainly be said that she was at least relatively sane, saner that most of the Senjus—like Toka—even. But she had lost it after an entire night of watching over the kid.

Gazing into the mirror she realized that she had dark, dark circles surrounding her eyes from an entire nights lack of sleep and her problems were far from over. _Just why in Kami's name did I agree to look after the troublesome brat during his parent's mission?_

"But I want TOBI to play with me!" The kid pouted for the umpteenth time, his face was livid and tears cascaded down his cheeks.

Naori snapped.

"Look kid, you really need to stop whining. You're going to be a shinobi, right?"

Kagami nodded, still upset.

"Shinobi's don't whine."

"But—but I really want to see Tobi. He's the funnest!"

"Okay, here's a deal, I take you to see 'Tobi' and you BEHAVE yourself for the rest of the day. Got it?"

Kagami wiped his tears and conceded enthusiastically.

Yet the kid was downcast when all that came from knocking on Toka and Izuna's door were chaotic sounds that resembled an intensive argument between the two. From what Naori could detect, it was something about "angering Madara", "wrecking their impeccable plans on vengeance" and "anger management lessons". Upon learning this she sighed and turned away.

"Where's Tobi?" The kid inquired restlessly.

"'Tobi' is probably busy with work," Naori tried to keep her calm, she really did.

"I want to find him!" Kagami stated declaratively.

Frustration gripped Naori. "Fine. Let's head for the Hokage's estate," she spoke rather begrudgingly.

"Yay! Do you think he would be excited to see me?"

"Yes… very…" Naori concurred listlessly, hoping to quickly get this over with


	34. Chapter 34

**Beta read by Duesal10**

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Tobirama Senju was in somewhat of a good mood—decent at least, compared to his miserable brother who was scowling in the corner with Madara. Judging from Hashirama's devastated expression, his date had been a fiasco; Tobirama suspected Madara had something to do with it.

Meanwhile Mito was horrified by the presentation of Hashirama's disorderly belongings and set herself up to clean them immediately. That woman was generally pretty disciplined, eloquent and… lady-like. Though her OCD did irk him a little.

_She'd definitely do my idiotic brother some good, IF they actually manage to get married, _Tobirama assured himself.

"I demand a divorce!" Madara's yelling dragged Tobirama back to reality.

"But they look pretty cute together!" Hashirama contradicted defensively

"My brother's in an abusive relationship!"

"It's called opposites attract!"

_Screw the arguing, _Tobirama bemoaned the fates for the selection of his brother, _I'm outta here._

Oh how he regretted his choice as he spotted a buoyant, raven-haired little devil trotting towards him. _Kami save me…_

"Tobi! Tobi! It's me! Let's play!"

Tobirama shunshined back to Hashirama and Madara's squabbles, leaving behind a very despondent kid.


	35. Chapter 35

**Beta read by Duesal10**

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"But—but Tobi disappeared!" Tears were welling out of Kagami's eyes as he wailed dejectedly.

Naori breathed in and out, suppressing the vexation that was mounting up inside her. "That's it, we're going in. And if 'Tobi' isn't there, we're leaving. No objections."

"Hey Naori?"

"Yes?"

"Do naughty little Uchihas really get their eyes plucked out?"

_Where the hell did he get that?_ "No."

"How do you know? The scary woman said that the boogeyman comes to the Uchiha compound every night and picks out the naughty kids…"

"No, that's not true." This kid was beyond annoying; he was seriously challenging her sanity.

Just when they arrived before the door, a raven-haired man- Madara- stormed past them, his sharingan blazing in anger while Hashirama Senju followed right behind.

"Hey, you two, is Tobirama in there?" Naori interrupted the tension between the two.

"Yes." They spoke together, and then resumed the tension.

"Do naughty little Uchihas get their eyes plucked out?" Kagami chirped with curiosity.

Silence.

_ Oh Kami…_ Naori decided that she'd give the kid lessons of discipline when they get home.

Slowly, Madara glared at Hashirama, indignant yet slightly amused at the kid's …creativity.

"Hashirama, what did I tell you about spreading ridiculous rumours?"

"I really didn't—"

"The scary woman told me!"

"What scary woman?" they questioned in unison, although Hashirama had an uncanny suspicion.

"That kid," Naori cleared her throat, "was talking about Izuna's wife."

"That f*cking woman…" Madara muttered under his breath.

"Oh Madara, by the way, should I mention that yesterday, your brother told me they were going to have sex when I stopped by?"

"What?" Madara's mouth hung open. That was utterly preposterous; his little brother would never do something like that. Needless to say, he fainted…

Into Hashirama's arms.

And Mito who was still engaged in her neat-freak mode and rearranging the tables, misinterpreted the sight.

_ Oh those two, what's their actual relationship? _ She pondered suspiciously.

"AHA! I _knew_ those two were going to start reproducing someday!" Hashirama bellowed triumphantly.

Naori and Mito facepalmed.

Meanwhile, the commotion outside of the room enabled Kagami to slip past inside unnoticed—or rather, none of them bothered about a pesky little kid while they were dealing with an unconscious Madara.

Naturally, Tobirama freaked.


	36. Special: Madara Senju, the Nightmare

**A/N: This chapter is a special edition that accompanies this mini-series, dedicated to all of you awesome followers :) It's not entirely related to the story but takes place in the same universe XD Hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I did writing!**

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**Beta read by Duesal10**

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The first thing he sensed when he woke up was the fact that he was naked, an uneasy sensation instantaneously gripped him restlessly—as we all know, the circumstances weren't exactly pleasant the last time Madara woke up in nudity.

Then he realized that it was someone else's bed… except that certain someone else had already left, leaving a pile of ruffled blankets and pillows cast carelessly on the other of the bed.

Soon an odd sensation gripped Madara; he felt strangely unhappy—not because he ended up naked in his bed and the fact that he had evidently slept with someone, the origination of his discomfort was strangely… hormonal.

As he got up, he perceived that his body seemed out of proportion, or at least, of a different proportion than a regular man. He felt a sagging weight weighing down his chest. Unsettled, he glanced down.

_Holy shit, I'm…_

A woman.

Quickly, wanting to disprove his unsettling doubts, Madara rushed to the mirror and what greeted him there was even more petrifying.

He really was a woman.

And a pretty damn sexy woman if he had to admit.

His hair, originally rough and uncombed, cascaded lusciously down his waist and he had a small, delicate, pretty face—pale as porcelain, his height had shrunk considerably and he had a softer… eh… gentler look and air about him.

Madara freaked.

Deciding that he'd better dress up, he skimmed through his wardrobe, only to realize that they were all dresses, kimonos and nightgowns, all entirely feminine attire.

What's more? They were dresses, kimonos and nightgowns with the Senju crest on it.

_No… Please… Don't let this happen…It can't be him…_

Cursing furiously, Madara donned a random kimono and rushed downstairs.

"Hi there Madara-chan!"

It was Hashirama. Shirtless.

"Hashirama! Just what kind of sick joke is this?!" he yelled, indignant and incensed. "And what's with the 'Madara-chan!'"

The Senju looked befuddled, his mood dropped a little. Typical Hashirama.

"But… I always call you Madara-chan…"

"Whatever, now, tell me, how DID I end up like this?!"

"What do you mean? I don't understand you." That bloodsucking bastard shook his head in confusion.

"How did I end up in a f*cking bed, in your f*cking house, as a woman?!"

"What?! You've always been a woman! No come on, otherwise a marriage alliance between the Senju and the Uchiha wouldn't have been possible!" That guy tried to sound like he was joking about the latter of his sentences.

"No I'm actually serious, I'm—"

"Don't tell my brother," Hashirama interrupted him abruptly.

"Don't what?! Of course I would tell your brother a bloody thing!"

"Ahh…" The man lamented. "You two never got along…Oh, and don't tell Mito—"

"Hashirama!" The redheaded woman emerged from the kitchen; her hair was already fixated in two buns, decorated elegantly by a few flowers. "There you are, how have you been yesterday night. My apologies, didn't get a chance to ask you when I returned from a visit to my home village this morning." She smiled at him demurely yet in a refined way.

Her eyes surveyed across the room and immediately, upon seeing Madara, her entire complexion turned sour.

"What's SHE doing here?"

"Eh… haha, you know, since Maddie-chan and I have been best friends… she came for a visit!"

"While I was away?" Mito eyed the two suspiciously.

"Eh… Yeah!"

"You're shirtless, you know that?"

An obedient nod from Hashirama

"Yep, you two have been sleeping together—"

"Me with him?!" This time it was Madara who interrupted her speech. He was Madara Uchiha, he would not lower himself to sleep with the Senjus, especially not Hashirama. He wasn't, isn't and will never be gay dammit! He's a straight man for all he could remember. "Are you f*cking kidding me right now?!"

"Oh, quit playing innocent right now! I know this isn't the first time!" Mito snapped back at him. "In fact, even Tobirama knows this isn't the first occasion when you cheated on him! You know what? I'll tell him!"

Her words left him bewildered and outraged. "What did you just say? Cheated on who? Tobirama? You… you… you…" Madara found himself stuttering.

"What?" She twitched an eyebrow and eyed him in a bitterly sarcastic way. "Your husband? Hashirama's brother? The guy with the Hiraishin no Jutsu? White haired, with amber coloured eyes, wears a fur coat the whole time?" From the tone of voice she talked in, you would have thought that she was explaining this to a three-year-old.

"Excuse me, but I'm leaving!" Madara screamed in protest. He stormed all the way to the door, shoving an apologetic Hashirama out of his way and decided to head for the Uchiha compound.

He needed a damn explanation for this mess.

Except when he entered his brother's house, he appeared to be intruding on… well, an intensive make-out session between Toka and Izuna. Of course, both of them were rather surprised to see him.

"Hey brother? How's everything going for you?" his brother greeted him; Izuna's voice seemed rather hazy.

No… this wasn't Izuna. Izuna would never make out with anyone like this, especially not Toka.

"Good…?—"

"Been cheating on Tobirama again?" Toka spoke bluntly. "Really, how many times have I warned Hashirama that a 'relationship' between you two would never work!"

"No, this… Can someone just tell me what's going on?"

"Brother, are you sure you're alright? You seem rather ill? Got a fever?" Izuna asked after witnessing Madara's pallid complexion.

"Long or abridged version?" Toka interjected again.

"Abridged."

The woman coughed a few times to clear her throat, preparing herself for some sort of monologue.

"So basically, after the formation of Konoha, our clans never got along well, right? So my idiot of a cousin decided to marry you off to his brother to strengthen the alliance between the two clans and we—"

"Why didn't he just marry me instead!" Madara bellowed without thinking, then realizing how awkward this sounded, he added. "Oh Kami… I did not just say that—"

"Yea… you kind-of just did." Toka deadpanned.

"No I mean, why Tobirama?! Wouldn't an alliance between the two clan leaders be the best decision? I mean—"

"Okay prissy, I understand that you're jealous of the fact that Hashirama had already married Mito Uzumaki BEFORE the formation of the village, hence he had been unable to take you in as his wife but—"

"Screw this, I'm out of here!" Madara shoved past Toka rudely. Where is his brother goddamit?!

He searched through the house only to discover a (happy?) Izuna cradling a bundle of cloths with… an infant in it. A minuscular, pink, wretched little thing in it.

"What is that little piece of shit you have there?" He blurted out upon his approach.

His little brother stared at him mournfully, shaking his head. "That little piece of shit, brother, is your nephew."

Now completely baffled, feeling that he would loose what little sanity he had left if he continued to stay, Madara rushed out of his house.

He ran. And ran. And ran again in a desperate attempt to avoid all familiar faces.

Except…

_No… not him, not now…_ Madara pleaded to the heavens.

"What are you doing?"

_Shit._

"No, I'm completely serious, 'wife'. What on earth are you doing?" It was Tobirama Senju speaking in an irked manner, evidently displeased to see Madara.

"Running. Problem?"

"Whatever," the Senju snorted.

"Been sleeping with my brother again?"

"NO!" he shrieked, his voice sounded odd, high-pitched, and womanly.

Tobirama gave him a disgusted look and rolled his eyes.

Madara returned it was a death glare.

"There you two are!" Hashirama's rambunctious voice rang distastefully through his ears.

"Hello, brother," Tobirama gave the man a curt nod.

Madara simply averted his eyes.

Switching glances between the two Tobirama had officially confirmed that, yes, those two had indeed been sleeping together.

...0.0

Madara winced in his sleep, rolling through his bed, his mind a tempest of emotions. He sure looked like he was suffering.

"Brother, wake up!" Izuna was rather worried and shook him in panic.

"Hn…." he snorted gruffly.

"Madara, it's me Izuna! WAKE UP!" With that, Izuna pushed his brother of the bed.

Instantly Madara was jostled out of his nightmares.

"Oh, Izuna! Izuna! I've really missed you!"

Consequently Izuna spent the rest of the afternoon stifled by his brother's overwhelming hugs while Madara kept on muttering about some ridiculously traumatizing nightmare.

Being a woman, betrothed to TOBIRAMA Senju, sleeping with Hashirama, arguing with Mito, worst of all: him and Toka making-out and having a child?

Really?!

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**A/N:**

**I would like to dedicate the upcoming Special Edition to the couples that 'never were' :) E.g. Madara/ Mito, Hashirama/Izuna, Tobirama/Mito (etc...) Basically you get the idea :) Send me your thoughts on this. (Yaoi is also allowed, I guess... Though I do warn you, I don't have much experience in writing it)**

**Until then, all suggestions are welcome!**


	37. Chapter 37

**A/N: I'm back! Whoah! **

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**Beta read by Duesal10**

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Kagami was overwhelmed with joy when he saw his 'Tobi' and hugged the poor, poor Senju tightly, sticking to Tobirama like some detrimental parasite.

"Hey Tobi, can you play with me?" the kid begged him while trying to climb onto his shoulders.

Tobirama stood there rigidly and stared at the ebullient little Uchiha helplessly. "Kid…"

'It's Kagami!"

"Ok Kagami… shouldn't you be with your mother?"

"But, my ma and pa are on a mission…" he sulked. "My cousin Naori is supposed to look after me but I want to play with you!"

_Oh Kami, have mercy on me…_ Tobirama wailed from the inside.

"So Tobi, you're a ninja right?"

A nod. A rather annoyed nod.

"Can you teach me ninja things?"

"… Why?"

"Because… because you're the best!" The devilish Uchiha kid crossed his arms and pouted at an unenthusiastic, enervated Tobirama.

"Um, no," was the brusque reply he received.

"Why? That's not fair Tobi! No one teaches me ninja stuff, not even my parents. Why?!"

"You're too young."

"But, but, but I'm gonna go to the academy next year."

"And also there's the fact tha t, I'm a Senju, you're an Uchiha. Period."

"But, but, but WHY?! You can still teach me!"

"No. I can't." Tobirama's temper threatened to explode. This kid had simply decided to forgo all of his explanations.

"But you're the funnest!"

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**A/N: Just asking, how did you guys find the last special edition? The few reviews I've received were pretty positive so I guess I'll do another one in due time.**

**I would like to dedicate the upcoming Special Edition to the couples that 'never were' :) E.g. Madara/ Mito, Hashirama/Izuna, Tobirama/Mito (etc...) Basically you get the idea :) Send me your thoughts on this. (Yaoi is also allowed, I guess... Though I do warn you, I don't have much experience in writing it)**

**Until then, all suggestions are welcome!**


	38. Chapter 38

**Beta read by Duesal10**

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"No kid, stay away from my hair!" Tobirama yelled helplessly as Kagami waved a pink paintbrush carelessly and tried to 'colour' his hair. It had been a mere 10 minutes, 10 minutes and this kid was already testing his temper. In short, Tobirama would be perfectly content to carry the boy and throw him out of his room, or window. Didn't matter really.

"But you said you would play with me!"

"No I—"

"Hi there brother!" Hashirama came in the room just in time. Madara had been taken back to his house by a bunch of errand running Chuunins, who clandestinely rejoiced the fact that they were temporary discharged from helping their "Hokage-sama" write his political marriage letters, which were delivered all across the elemental nations. Yes, Hashirama's obsession with matchmaking was already stretching beyond the boundaries of Konoha.

Mito resumed her cleaning, occasionally wrinkling her nose in disgust at Hashirama's smelly, unkempt cloths that were scattered all across the house and Naori decided she'd take a breath of fresh air outside the house.

Really, Tobirama had never been more grateful for his brother's presence.

Hashirama glanced down at the little half-pint swarming his brother's ankles. "Who's this kid?"

"Tobi's going to play with me today!"

"No…" his brother muttered and gazed the kid sternly.

"Come on Tobirama, quit being a sour plum!"

_Great, just great, splendid. Now Hashirama's going to intervene…_

"No. Hashirama. I'm leaving. You can play with him."

"Alright!" Hashirama rushed to Kagami's side. "Just ignore that guy over there, Hashi-nii will play with you!" he offered joyously.

"But… But… I want Tobi!" the kid yelled in protest, clearly dissatisfied.

"But you've got Hashi!"

"I want Tobi!"

"Hashi is much more fun!"

"No, Tobi is!"

Tobirama could almost die of laughter if it weren't for the stoically tempered reputation he needed to uphold. Hashirama, right now, with all his pouting, resembled a boy with a mental age less than a third of his actual one.

Shaking his head, he tried to leave the room.

_Tried_.

The moment Tobirama's hands reached to door handle both Hashirama and Kagami protested. ("Don't leave brother/ Tobi!" They shouted concurrently.)

"What? Brother, you're acting like a five-year-old and you, Kagami, stop whining. You're annoying. I see no need to be in the company of idiots. Hashirama, grow up." Tobirama regretted his words instantly after they escaped his mouth. Now Hashirama was crying in typical Hashirama-style with gallons and gallons of tears streaming down his face while his expression contorted in pain.

"Brother, stop being so mean, this kid is just bored! I mean… I mean… he has no one else to play with him! Be nice, Tobirama, just this once," Hashirama pleaded him in a ridiculously dramatized manner.

"Just this once Tobi?" Kagami smiled innocently, while attempting his "cutesy" expression, having his big onyx eyes bulging out of their sockets.

Tobirama's eyebrow twitched.

"Fine. Just this once," he relented spiritlessly.

Oh the woes he'd have to bear!

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**A/N: Poor Tobirama, I'm really torturing him now am I? ;) **


	39. Chapter 39

**Beta read by Duesal10**

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After an entire hour of recovering from the chaos in the Hokage estate, Naori proceeded with her plans for the day. She would snatch that irritating little brat away, do some grocery shopping, then return home to the welcoming prospect of rest and perhaps drop by her cousin Izuna's house for a while.

Her visits had become more seldom since his forced marriage, partially due to the fact that his wife was notorious for her irascible temper (even though she seemed fairly decent when they met), and partially since her missions had doubled, allotting her scarcely any free time, and partially because it would most certainly be awkward with two of them chatting and another woman hovering in the background, possibly growing suspicious of their relationship.

In retrospect, it saddened her a bit—no, their relationship wasn't remotely romantic. Having lost all of brothers during the Warring States Era, Izuna became one her closest friends. What was the word people used? Ah yes, soul mates.

They'd talk about almost everything from food, politics, hobbies to love interests. No, not that way. Sure, back then, their clan had considered engaging those two and looking back, it would probably have been a merciful decision for Izuna but the point was they were pretty closely related; neither Naori nor Izuna fancied incest.

"Hey there." Mito Uzumaki rolled up her sleeves on her ornately decorated kimono, multilayered and threatening to weigh her down any moment. "Those idiots are inside that room. By the way what's your name? You seem relatively sane compared to the rest of the lot." She gestured to the door.

"Thanks. By the way, the name's Naori." Really, from the way Mito expressed herself you would have thought that the entire planet was deprived of sane human beings and her chanced meeting with Naori had been an oasis in a desert.

"Mmmm… well, to be honest I'm new here. I've been a close friend of Izuna's and I'm that brat's aunt. Long story short, I was visiting Izuna's house with that kid and got entangled in this mess," she lamented.

"Many sympathies," Mito nodded. "Care to entertain me for a while? It's been ages since I've met someone remotely… normal. Tobirama's an ice block while Hashirama's a kid stuck in a man's body."

"Men." Naori concluded. "And of course, statistics seems to show that a shinobi's strength is directly proportional to his insanity. The same could be said for kunoichis, albeit to a lesser degree. Considering how you're the wife—"

"Not wife, fiancée."

"Well, considering how you're the fiancée of the Hokage, you're bound to be surrounded by some crazy company," Naori finished her sentence.

Mito agreed, though slightly irked by the truthfulness of the Uchiha woman's words. "The same could be said about you, more than half of you clan aren't exactly the sanest people either." She tried to be polite, she really did.

"That would be an understatement," Naori chuckled and shook her head.

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**A/N: So any feedback or thoughts?**

**P.S ****I am still taking requests for the next Special Edition**

**The pairings I am planning to do so far are :**

**perverted!Madara/ Toka**

**Hashirama/ Izuna **

**Tobirama/ Mito**

**I'm planning on writing a couple more but am currently lacking some ideas so send me your suggestions!**


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